What did you think of Zack's performance at Fraser Heights?
What I think about Zack's performance is that it was very motivational because a man who started from the bottom, He was an addict, homeless, and was in and out of jail. He knew that he had loved poetry from a young age. When he was in jail he was moved to a minimum security camp this camp had a TV, video games, and very little guards. He was the cook for the camp and another man said he didn't like Zack's spaghetti because he put to much onions so Zack's thinking that he should fight this man because he grew up watching TV and he learned that the first man that argues with you in jail fight them. So he was sent back to the same jail and he was put in the "hole" the "hole" was a hole in the group and had a stone slab and a little blanket there was a window but the only thing you could see was a brick wall, there was also a LED light on for 24 hours. He was going crazy in this cell he kept reciting this poem over and over for the six days he has never written this on paper he remembers this by heart.
When he was homeless he had went into a cafe and he found a thing called a slam poem, The audience was given a score card to rate the poet as soon as he finished his poem he ran out the door and he didn't care what the other people said, He said that he had felt this high that he hadn't felt before and he liked because he wasn't causing himself harm. Zack is now a very successful man now because he had went to that cafe and found the job that he really enjoyed.
This is my opinion about Zaccheus Jackson performance at Fraser Heights.
"Zaccheus Jackson is a three-time Van Slam team member, two-time Vancouver Individual Slam champ, 2007 Grand Slam Champ and three year Word Play veteran. He has an obsession w/ Heinz Ketchup, never touches dimes, and his gritty, rapid-fire, real-life stories will leave you counting syllables in your sleep." (copied directly from the Vancouver Poetry House website - under "Wordplay", then "Our Poets"
Azeem,
ReplyDeleteYour paragraphing is getting stronger and you are supporting with more details and information than previously. I liked how you included the background story Zack shared with a lot of specifics about his life and then you conclude indicating that his rise from addiction to living a clean life and becoming a successful artist is part of the motivation you described. I understand better now how knowing about an author or artist's history can add to the experience you receive from the artist or the artist's work. You will see this more again next year when you study Shakespeare as it will be important to understand his works.
I also like how you draw attention to the effectiveness of the arts in expressing emotion and helping Zack to channel emotions - he believes this is a life skill. What do you think?
I notice you are having trouble with run-on sentences still. Look at your first sentence - this is a run-on because you are combining two complete sentences or thoughts with a comma. To correct, use a period or semicolon. Here is a video I found that might help http://youtu.be/P6ARqUdCkdg You may want to copy your post, fix your run-ons and then repost as a second draft.